sometimes i feel as if my day is but a sequence of steps.
i merely move from one point to the other, finding myself
going, as it were, through a passage, pacing off my allotted
number which is characteristically finite. i move from point A
to point B, displacing my conscious self from existence.
death is its mask, and i wear it everyday. robotically, i move
without anticipation or optimism, but calculating, concluding
that i am always moving myself out of this form of consciousness
into that which i cannot fathom. the pressure weights me,
confuses me, often leaving me entangled in the error of emotion.
prickly, seared emotions, mark me bereft of significance
other than the overwhelming nature of their impact. like the
arrow of time, which purportedly curves sharply inward, so is
the great Otherworldly Dimension created by the arrow of my
rage that surfaces in a finite moment striking my innermost,
creating a torsion that rips, pierces, and influences me so
egregiously that i feel dimensionless. up to that moment of
finitude in my life, rage was just a theory imitating the enigma
of science which encompass me all the day. Rage becomes a
ferocious, inconceivable force. it is the white light of midnight.
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