Category: General

I grew tired of feeling the shards
stab into my heart
into my smile
into my sanity.

They formed jagged cracks.
Never clean or smooth.
Like they knew jagged is harder to heal.

I would feel them melt away,
filling the not smooth cracks
only making the healing harder

The shards were still there, after all.
They had become a part of me
a part beyond the jagged cracks
they knew they were breaking me
they loved that they were.

I grew tired of seeing the cracks
flow into my eyes
it gave me away

People began to see the scars
left by the shards
they began to see the cracks that covered me

I knew it would be satisfactory
if I allowed the shards to shatter,
shatter within me.

The shards that had melted
let them burst!
The shards that still come
let them burst!

I grew tired of breaking, cracking
it makes healing so much harder.
I needed my heart.
I needed my smile.
I needed my sanity.

No matter what the jagged shards thought.
I did.
I had to heal, not burst!
I had to remove the shards
before they melted.

I knew I would grow tired.
I knew I needed to.
I knew I could not shatter.

Into the sweet night I will not gently go
Nor allow sweet gentleness upon me bestow
A serene, bitterless, earthly detach,
Nor placid poise in release of heaven’s latch.
Virulent against the flow I’ll fight my end
And send to Hades first they who would bend
My fight to follow fate’s fearless fleckless steer
Into the dark of night in cinders smeared.

i went for a walk today and as i went
by a path so familiar, i paused delightfully content
to lift my hat and warmly wave to a faraway friend.
when this i did, suddenly came frostily a wind…
brushing my face with icy strokes to bestow
a memory long since sealed thirty years ago…

it was only then the wind did send
a thought of that day quite identical to when
i went for a walk as a young man then and
lifted my hat, extending high my hand
just to nighly wave to a friend i saw
standing outside time’s limitless law…

it was not the memory of the familiar then,
which made me feel so strange to lift my hat;
rather, it was the me of yesteryear that
appeared so utterly, wholly avowed.
like the long lost twin of the me of the now,
the wind brought fresh the smell of the then…

i went for a walk today and as i went
by a path so familiar, i realized blissfully content
that the who i was is the same as who i became.
‘tis true most people cling to such old familiarities,
anchored in the deepest, deep of their profundities,
reminding us all we are and always will be the very same.

she gave away the love we built,
and then my heart’s blood spilt
out of my soul, out of love’s bounds,
watered weak with sorrow’s sounds
a splendorous happiness now scorned…
nothing but sadness with us can be born.
and so it died and dried stiff on the vine
losing all the colors that once did bind.

time stopped…eons passed…tectonic plates
shifted in moments of the eternal wait!

then she returned and thought it would take,
only a second our love to remake,
but love so shattered, split and worn,
can never lift the crushing of love forlorn.
love’s back lies motionless, forever broken
once the foundation is cracked with words of token.
loss of trust and faith can never find its bosom rest
for our love is the winged, wounded bird that finds no nest.

admitting
is the first step towards
coveted normalcy.

it’s how you say,
i’m wrong, we all know it,
help me find the fix.

it’s how you relieve
the guilt…the suffocating weight,
from dwindling shoulders.

alleviation
is the first step towards
perfect posture.

it’s how you straighten
your back, bones strong,
free of the leaning weight.

it’s how you breathe
lungs open, exhaling
i’m wrong, we all know.

admitting
my heart shunned…
is broken.

admitting
this isn’t guilt,
this is shame.

shame of my
dwindling shoulders…
poor posture.

of my shallow breaths,
shadowed still by
shameful tears.

shame of my
wandering thoughts…
past smiles.

of my stories told,
shadowed now by
blame-full tears.

shame of my
weak eyes and
trembling hands.

of my dreams shared,
shadowed forever by
shameful tears.

i wish this guilt,
could simply
flee from my shoulders.

shame, though, sticks,
likes tears to my cheeks…
the last step toward normalcy.

the sun drys the coral floor of this walk,
pausing me to stop and think
that my soul will sink
into that time before i walked
here in this spot…here in this spot
life did join since creation as dot to dot
yet, now is left for me to see
ten thousand years of ancient sea.

I love you my darling……and I can count the ways:
1. I love you as when I find that lonely, elusive rose blooming bright red on the hot desert floor.
2. I love you as that star in the heavens burning brightest first in the evening sky and burning brightest last in the morning sky.
3. I love you as when I find that hidden cove tucked deep inside the rocky shore of the most secret enchanted Caribbean island.
4. I love you as the joy I feel when I see the first blade of fresh, green grass pushing its way upward in the spring time.
5. I love you as when the lost child finds her seeking mother.
6. I love you as the wind loves the rain.
7. I love you as the ocean loves to kiss the shore.
8. I love you as the window curtain loves the flapping created by the blowing wind.
9. I love you as the door loves the safety of its hinges.
10. I love you as the sidewalk loves the walking feet.
11. I love you as the shimmering pool loves the swimming children.
12. I love you as the heavens love the earth.
13. I love you as the river loves its meandering banks.
14. I love you as the doll loves its little girl.
15. I love you as the soil loves the tilling farmer.
16. I love you as the thunder loves the lightening.
17. I love you as the Lord loves his creation.
18, I love you as the father loves his daughter.
19. I love you as the tide loves the pull of the moon.
20. I love you as my endless dream that i wish to hold deeply in my heart forever.